LOVE & MARRIAGE || THE WERNERS

Marriage is a beautiful, complicated relationship that requires a ton of hard work and commitment and is well worth the investment. At different stages of the game, marriage has it’s unique ups and downs. We love the idea of sharing about marriage because being happily married can be hard to do. We want to encourage long, happy marriages by any means necessary and believe in the importance of sharing what works and what doesn’t so we learn from one another.

So, without further ado…

Meet :: Chris and Courtney Werner.

What’s your sign? What’s Chris’ sign? Are you an astrological love match?

I’m a Capricorn and Chris is a Scorpio. I don’t think Scorpios are anybody’s love match!

How long have you been married? How long did you date? How long did you live together? How long were you engaged?

Married for 5 years; Dated for a year and a half and we lived together and built our home while we were engaged.

How did you meet Chris?

We met through a mutual friend 10 years before we started dating. The night I met him I called my mom and told her that I just met the man I was going to marry! He was handsome, hilarious and a pretty phenomenal karaoke singer! I think he said two words to me and we were randomly in a photo together (because someone yelled “lean in Chris”) but I was hooked! We would bump into each other at the most random events and he even asked for my number once and never called me! We officially pulled the ‘friend’ card on each other and we both ended up in very serious relationships. We remained friends over the years but he never fully left my head and of course my ‘biggest crush’ heart. When the timing was finally right and he opened his eyes to the friend that always loved him, we were goners!

Tell us about Chris… Describe him in five words.

Passionate, funny, compassionate, charming and contagious.

What is the best part about being married to Chris?

Watching him become a father. He was born to be the best dad and he makes me fall in love with him over and over again.

Chris- what is the best part about being married to Courtney?

The best part of being married to Courtney is knowing that you married someone who is the complete package. The fact of the matter is you never really know how the person is going to carry themselves in certain situations in life until they happen. She has been my strongest supporter in anything I decide to do but the biggest attribute to this woman is her gift of being a mother. She truly loves it. Don’t get me wrong, we all have our moments but she can 100% keep this house in order and that is something I could never do.

Tell us about Courtney… Describe her in five words.

Selfless, loving, knockout, genuine and a smartass.

What is the hardest part about being married while having small children?

Remembering that you can’t always take everything out on your spouse because you can’t take it out on the kids that are actually driving you nuts.

Do you do the traditional “date night”? How do you keep it from getting mundane?

We’re pretty much creatures of habit when it comes to date night. We always end up at the same restaurants because we know we will have an enjoyable experience and it wont be a total waste of money (for bad food and a babysitter). We’re working hard on changing it up a bit though!

Courtney, what’s your favorite thing to do on a date?

My perfect date would include fresh squeezed greyhounds and a Duffy ride around the bay or a fun concert.

Chris, what’s your favorite thing to do on a date?

I love taking her to see any sort of live music. Our relationship was totally built with music being a major part. I love it and was lucky enough to find someone willing to listen to ‘most’ of my music. Getting out for date nights isn’t the easiest thing these days.You get caught up with life and forget to take time for yourselves. We are both constantly sending one another concert info for upcoming shows of bands we like and we know it will be a special night.

Chris, what advice would you give to a new dad to keep his marriage and wife a priority when she maybe can’t do the same in return because she has her head down with a newborn or small children?

The best advice I can give any new father is to make sure your wife is taken care of the second that baby comes out. You spend 9 months jumping in front of your wife if a hummingbird flies near her while she is carrying your baby. It’s easy to lose focus when that child comes out. You go into protection mode at all costs (I wouldn’t let anyone walk Henley up the stairs but me for the first month). You MUST keep giving your wife that same sense of attention. (Between you and me their brains are a little worn out) Always care for them and whatever you do bring them coffee as often as possible.

Chris, do you believe in push presents and babymoons? If so, did you take one and what have your gifts been for each child?

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea at first. It’s a tough game in this day and age and expectations of people that you are surrounded by. I was lucky enough to marry someone that never expects anything and appreciates everything. I felt that the perfect gifts were ones that were intended for the child to inherit when they were older. For example, I gave Courtney a gold ring with Harlow’s name hand engraved by our late neighbor who was one of the last jewelers around to hand engrave. He was at the age where he no longer did it but he did not pass up an opportunity to help a friend. The slight wave and imperfection of his cursive “Harlow” is so special to us and we know she will cherish it one day. In going back, I guess I believe in the idea of family heirlooms.

What marriage advice do you have for the rest of us?

Don’t take yourselves too seriously. We’re all learning as we go and we’re all just trying to survive the chaos that is parenthood and marriage! Your spouse is your only true teammate so be sure to make them your biggest priority.

What’s the best marriage advice you’ve received?

My mom once told me that it’s the people that ‘don’t’ fight that don’t make it. If you don’t care enough to take the time to hash it out and work through your problems they will just fester and explode.

Are your parents still married? What was their marriage like? Are Chris’ parents still married also? What was their marriage like?

Chris and I are lucky enough to both have parents that are still married! My parents live and breathe for each other. Their marriage survived the loss of my brother which is statistically unheard of and I swear they still grow closer by the day. Chris’ parents are truly best friends and always have the best time together! We are so darn blessed to be inspired by marriage royalty in the form of our parents!

Do you have any tips when it comes to fighting fair? Did you have to learn to fight fair or have you always resolved conflict easily?

I’m extremely stubborn when it comes to fighting so it’s a freaking miracle that I married someone that will always apologize first and he’s always encouraging me to move forward and let it go.